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It is a well known tradition that before you even think of making some one’s daughter pregnant you should pay lobola (bride price/dowry) for her. If for whatever reason that one decides not to follow this old age tradition then a fine must be paid by the would be son in law. By the way, the fine is for being in contempt of court (kuzvidza Dare).

It has always been recognised that getting married first before starting a family shows respect for the in Laws.

So how do we charge these damages? This is entirely up to the girl’s family, and may not be negotiable. By the way it’s supposed to be a punishment for being a naughty boy. The cost will also be determined by the girls social status, the higher the level of education the higher the price. If she is employed you also pay higher because you are likely to use some of her money.

Damages will not be part of the bride price. You may also have to pay more again depending with the social standing of the girl. Whether this is a fair system, I don’t know, I guess like a court it may not be fair depending on which side of the law you are on.

For those who don’t know our tradition, like our foreign son in laws. I’m sorry but ignorance of the law has no defence, after all the girl knows how it should be done.

There is another issue of single mothers, the law is still the same. You should get married first, I know there are some people who think this is wrong, but I tell you there is nothing wrong here. Kuzvidza Dare kuzvidza Dare chete (you are still in contempt of court). It does not matter even if someone has paid damages for her before.

After we have finished the whole process of paying Lobola and formalising the relationship, you now become my son in law.
We can even go to the township, where I will expect you to buy me beer. Not masese (opaque beer), how can I drink that after my daughter/sister has just been married.
Remember that old saying, mukuwasha muwonde hauperi kudyiwa ende hukama igasva huno zadziswa nekudya.

This is all meant to make you a good son in law, to all you my brothers still to get married, it’s expensive these days. Now you even pay in foreign currency if you stay outside the country. You can not lie because you skin and your actions will betray you.

Do you think I will make a good father in law? you are right I will.

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