Dear Lord
Thank you for opening my eyes to realize that there are beautiful women out there. You know God, when I met Grace, I thought she was meant for me but I’ve come to realize that water and oil do not mix. It is true that I like to look at other women but I only do that to appreciate the beauty of nature’s creation. But sometimes I just can’t resist these women. After all I have my weakness.
Grace calls me ‘Baba va Panashe’, I often feel like a pensioner. Other women call me Darling, Sweetie, Dear, then I feel young, energetic and moja. She likes complaining and nagging and she is always too tired to go out with me.
Every weekend she goes to attend so and so’s funeral and go straight to society or prayers. Women outside are wild, grooving and can do a thorough job when it comes to Huuuuuuuu.
Another problem with Grace, dear lord is she is good at spending my hard earned money. When we talk about budget she is referring to my salary. Her salary is her secret and its confidential. She has appointed herself my minister of finance but my economy is not improving.
Her family comes first in everything. When I bought my mother a jersey during this chilling winter, she complained that I know our financial problems but I keep giving people our money. When she bought her mother a pair of boots, jacket, blanket and a heater, she said that I know her mother is struggling. (Varikutambura!). I visit my parents once in a lifetime but her family needs her.
God, I met her at a party. But these days she wants to remain indoors. No friends should visit us without appointments. I must sit and watch the Bold & Beautiful, Days of of lives and later Generations/Muvhango, Studio 263.
But Lord you know I am a Catholic to the bone. Grace doesn’t understand anything. Every Sunday she drags me to this Nigerian Christian Church. I had to part with $1 million as an offering to the Pastor.
Heavenly Father you will realize that I have lost some weight. I will spare you the details. Its all rice, Corn Flakes and Chicken Licken everyday. My favourite MaBhonzo ne Guru is a thing of the past. She will never allow such nonsense in our Town house.
Oh God I yearn for my favourite Lion and also Castle Lager,Black Label and Hansa Pilserner, the only beers with surnames,these days I only drink mineral water. So God, as Mufesi, I hope you know why I always look at those ladies and wish that I could spend more and more time with them. Ndipei plan, Musanyarare Mwari.
Amen
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