Townshipvibes

Thought I could share with you this email I received from a friend.
Dear staff,Due to the current financial situation caused by> the slowdown of economy in Zimbabwe since 1997, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW> scheme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by management.

Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

MANAGEMENT

Well, what can I say? Have your say by posting your comments.

Two old man sitting in a retirement home charting:

Fred: “I’m full of aches and pains today Alfie, how do you fell?”

Alfie replies, “Like a new born baby Fred”

Fred: “Really? A new born baby?”

Alfie: “Yep! No hair, No teeth and I have just s**t myself.”

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Today’s joke features Cde Chinoz at the clinic for blood test.

It was the first time people were going for blood tests, and Cde Chinoz had a friend who had gone for his blood test at a local clinic in Fiyo. Cde Chinoz came and found him crying hell and asked, “Why are you crying?”

The friend replied, “I came here for blood tests”

Chinoz asked, “So, Are you afraid?”

The friend replied, “No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger”.

Hearing this Cde Chinoz also started crying & screaming. His friend was astonished and asked him, “Why are you crying?”

Cde Chinoz replied, “I have come for my urine test.”

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This is the first in a series of Jokes to come.

Today’s Joke features Cde Chinoz in a quiz contest:

Asked to name any novel and it`s writer:

Mugabe said, Bones by Hove.

Nkomo said Gudlindlu Mntanami by Sigogo.

Guess what Cde Chinotimba said?

Counterbook by Marvo.

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