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Muface ne Chimoko pa Barbershop

Sebastian — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 11:22:54 +0000

Muface akapinda mu barbershop for a haircut and saw a lady sweeping and cleaning the mirror.
Man : Sister makabatana, let’s go out tonight.
Lady: Ah ini ndakaroorwa, what do I tell my husband?
Man: Just tell him that work is tight, saka you will be coming home late
tonight.
Lady: Chingovataurirai mega ndivo vacho varikukugerai.
Man:……………..Maita henyu ambuya for participating, ndiri kunyora
Dissertation rangu re Bachelor’s degree in Sociology kuona kuti upombwe
hurikuti dzosera kumashure sei.

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Grace Mugabe let-off the hook

Zimbabwe Jokes – Chinoz Zvakare

Sebastian — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 17:33:47 +0000

After a heated argument with his wife a man said, “noziva vakadzi muri madhongi, mese zvenyu muri madhongi chaiwo.” One day as they were driving home they saw a Donkey and the wife said.

“Uchenjere kutsika amai vako babes!”

Chinoz Zvakare

Chinoz was busy masturbating with his left hand.

He then changed to his Right hand and started smilling to himself saying…

“Gore rino chihure chichandiwuraya!”
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Fathers Watch Out

Sebastian — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 16:33:22 +0000

A Man had 4 children. The government made a public announcement to its citizens that, if you have five children you will get $50,000 per month as aid grant to support the family.

The man told his wife directly “honey, I must admit, em… I have a child with my girl friend and I am going to bring him”.

She gazed at him in shock, he could not wait but dashed out to fetch the son. When he returned, he was amazed to see only two of his children remaining.

He asked his wife: “honey, where are the other two children?”

She replied, ” you were not the only person that heard the announcement……their fathers has come to take them….”

One reader of Townshipvibes.com shared this Joke, Feel FREE to share your jokes.

FIFA president Sepp Blatter pledges $1m for Football schemes in Zimbabwe

Sebastian — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 15:48:57 +0000

FIFA president Sepp Blatter pledged $1m (£620,575) over four years for football schemes in Zimbabwe. Another $500,000 (£310,300) will be provided to support training under Fifa’s worldwide Goal project. Speaking during his two day visit to the country Blatter also called for life bans for everyone found guilty in the match fixing scandals.

Last national team captain Method Mwanjali and four other players reportedly admitted to accepting brides to influence matches during a tour to Thailand and Malaysia.

“Football is more than kicking a ball,” Blatter said at a news conference. “I do not come to Africa to impose European football, I respect particularities and culture. Africa has more talent than Brazil but Africa’s talent is not yet developed.”

Sepp Blatter also watched the Mighty Warriors’ Cosafa Women Championship tie against Malawi, which Zimbabwe won 8-2.

Save 30% Off with Maximuscle Voucher

Sebastian — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 12:18:20 +0000

Maximuscle has just released a 30% Off Voucher to save you money on UK’s top sports nutrition products that will help you build muscle, lose fat and increase strength. Plus you will also earn MaxiReward points when you order at Maximuscle.com

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Hurry this voucher is valid for a short time only!

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Fitness Heroes Challenge

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Find out more about the Fitness Heroes Competition at Maximuscle.com

Garden Storage Sheds Best Argos Deals Save £170

Sebastian — Fri, 06 May 2011 09:32:49 +0000

Garden Sheds – Argos have special offers on garden storage sheds including deals on Keter Plastic Apex Garden Shed, Overlap Wooden Garden Shed, save £170 when you buy Deluxe Apex Garden Shed online today at Argos.

Buy Garden Storage Sheds at Argos.co.uk

Remember you can reserve your Garden Storage Sheds online for free and collect in store at Argos.

CLICK Here to Reserve and Collect your garden shed.

Facebook Got It So Wrong With Its New Messaging System

Sebastian — Thu, 05 May 2011 11:37:04 +0000

Facebook Messaging System – Facebook wanted to create a simpler and faster experience for millions users of its social networking site. But judging by reactions and comments on Facebook regarding this new Facebook messaging system, it seems Facebook got this one so wrong people don’t like it. It’s one of those things brands force on to people.

Recently Facebook integrated Instant chats and inbox messages into one service which some see as an attempt to force people onto its new email service.

However research by Which? Computing as reported in the Metro today shows Facebook’s new email service is way behind it’s rivals. Facebook’s email service is reported to be very basic and lacks features, in fact it came second from last out of a sample of seven email service providers with Windows Live Hotmail tops followed by Google’s Gmail.

Feel FREE to share your experiences with the new Facebook Messaging System.

Sonny Reveals Users Credit Card Details At Risk After PlayStation Network Hacking

Sebastian — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 08:11:39 +0000

PlayStation Network Hacking – Credit card details of PlayStation Network users may have been stolen. Sony revealed that hackers stole details of 77 million PlayStation Network users. Its been a week since Sony took down the PlayStation Network services.

Stolen details include names, addresses, date of birth and PlayStation passwords.

Sony has not said when the PlayStation Network services will be back online. Users have been warned to keep an eye on activities on their bank accounts in case they might become victims of fraud.

If you are a user of the PlayStation Network service, this hacking scandal is something to take very seriously to make sure you do not become a victim of Internet fraud.

Beware of Fraudsters When Shipping Goods To Zimbabwe

Sebastian — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 22:43:04 +0000

Shipping Goods to Zimbabwe? - if you are thinking of sending your goods to Zimbabwe, Be Warned! You have to read this before you become another victim of Zimbabwean fraudsters operating in the UK. A number of Zimbabweans have stories to tell and two of the most commented on articles at Townshipvibes.com relate to one particular individual or company that seem to have a long history of defrauding Zimbabweans.

Read these two articles Thinking of Shipping Goods to Zimbabwe and Shipping Drums to Zimbabwe, these articles may save you money if you have not been a victim already.

These articles relate to my problems with a company called ZIMCARGO which I found out was also operating as shiptoanycountry.com and has since gone burst.

What makes me angry is that these guys maybe enjoying a flash life here in the UK through fraud and they seem to be getting away with it.

How I wish and hope something will be done against these thieves.

Be warned if you are thinking of shipping goods to Zimbabwe.

Have You Been A Victim?

Share your story and help fellow Zimbabweans….or maybe you have advice that may help victims of these conman. Feel FREE to share.

Is The Grand National Another Human Cruelty Act To Animals?

Sebastian — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 22:06:15 +0000

The Grand National – one of the most famous horse races. The Grand National at Aintree has been taking place since 1839, this year Ballabriggs won the Grand National. However two horses died during the race, 19 of the 40 starters finished the race.

The horse have to jump 30 fences, but why jumps?

Why can’t they have a flat race when they know these fences will cause pain and death to horses?

Is this not another form of human cruelty to animals?

Time to stop this cruelty to horses in the name of sport.

This is all about money.